


your best american girl

by orphan_account



Category: Smosh
Genre: M/M, Smut, this is the worst thing i’ve ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 18:51:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20765255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: damien has a plan, a devious one at that.





	your best american girl

**Author's Note:**

> if you don’t want to read something like this then don’t read it. i personally, don’t like shipping Ian with people in smosh but it is what it is. enjoy!

—-  
It’s not everyday that Damien walks into Ian’s office after hours. It was seven pm, and Ian had thought he was the only one left in the office, but Damien had sauntered in without a care in the world.Thankfully, Ian wasn’t doing anything embarrassing or grotesque, because there’d been one too many times where he’d gotten a little eager at work before and someone had almost walked in on him. 

Damien has a look in his eye that ian doesn’t recognize. Ian has never seen Damien look so mischievous before, and he was suddenly worried that damien was going to ask to be excused from filming next week or ask to take a month off. that was a lot of paperwork that Ian was not excited for. 

However, Damien pulls one of Ian’s office chairs up to his desk, and takes a seat across from him. He drums his fingers on Ian’s desk and messes with his pencil cup, and Ian tries to continue typing on his computer, but is distracted by the ruckus Damien is making. 

“god, what?” Ian sighed, looking up at Damien. 

“oh, it’s nothing,” Damien grinned. 

Damien gets up from his seat and makes his way towards Ian’s office door, but Ian groans. “you obviously came into my office and stayed late after work for a reason, Damien. What the hell do you want?” 

Damien picks up a stack of papers that was sat on Ian’s cabinet, and begins to fan himself dramatically. “I want a raise.” 

Ian rolls his eyes, “you know we get paid on a basis of how many videos we’re in plus an annual salary, right? I can’t-“ 

“I was kidding,” Damien interrupts, putting the papers back onto the cabinet. “I just wanted to ask you something.” 

Ian sits forward in his chair and smooths out his shirt, “go for it.” 

“So the other day, boss, Shayne was looking over your shoulder and saw you had a pretty suspicious looking app on your phone. You know, I believe it starts with a G and ends with an r,” Damien said, putting a hand to his chin. 

Ian’s face goes red hot, “Last time I checked, Damien, Google didn’t end with an r.” 

“Exactly. I had no clue you were...into guys, Ian,” Damien says, raising an eyebrow. 

Ian sighs and curses his past self for not turning off his notifications for that app. “I’m not exactly out yet.” 

Damien shrugs, “That’s alright, man. I just wanted to, uh, make sure of something really quick.” 

Damien pulls out his phone and opens up an app, and then he slides it across the desk to Ian. Damien’s phone is open to Grindr, and the conversation on screen is with-

oh my god. 

Ian’s face goes red again. “Does this mean..?” 

“Judging by your reaction,” Damien says, scratching at his neck, “I think it does.”

Ian’s whole body begins to shake. Had Damien told Shayne about their steamy exchange on Grindr? Who all knew about this? Oh god, Ian can already hear the HR lady droning on about work space sexual harassment cases- 

“I’m so sorry, Damien. How...How was I supposed to know that was you?” Ian says, his head in his hands. “Fuck, if you haven’t already, you can report me to HR.” 

Damien is silent, and finally, Ian looks up. Instead of seeing Damien’s face full of rage or disgust, Ian just sees a playful smirk. 

“See, the problem is, Ian… I was very attracted to your profile.”

Ian sits up straight in his seat, and looks Damien in bewilderment. “What?! Damien, this cant-“ 

Damien raises his eyebrows, “oh, but it can. I looked over our contracts, it says nothing about a sexual relationship between coworkers.” 

“Yeah, w-well,” Ian sputters, “It’s implied!” 

Damien sighs, and reaches out for Ian’s hand across the desk. Ian reluctantly gives him it.

“Look, Ian. All I know is that I’m attracted to you. We’ve been talking for three months… do you know how rare that is on hookup apps like these? you were telling me over and over again how you haven’t had sex in what, eleven months? You have needs, dude. Judging by the way you look at me in videos, during writer’s meetings, however…” Damien trails off, and Ian feels a small twinge in his jeans.

“Damien,” Ian starts.

“-but, I guess if it would be too weird, I could just leave. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable.” 

Damien turns around, and he’s halfway out the office door when Ian gets up out of his chair to follow him.

“Damien, wait-“ Ian says, grabbing Damien’s shoulder. 

Damien turns around, that mischievous look in his eyes once more, and then he sees Damien start to lean in. Ian melts into the kiss, and that warm, fuzzy feeling he hadn’t felt with anyone in months, fuck, maybe even years comes rushing back again. 

suddenly, damien lowers his jaw some and parts his lips, and ian’s tongue finds its way in. Damien’s hands make their way to Ian’s jaw. Ian closes his office door and slams Damien up against it. 

“o-oh,” Damien stammers out, parting ways.

“Shit, I-“ Ian gulps. “Probably should’ve asked if that was okay…” 

“It was okay, Ian,” Damien giggles softly, before leaning back into the kiss again. 

This time, Damien’s hands find Ian’s back, and he pushes their hips together. They both are already hard and Damien begins to move against Ian’s legs, and Ian lets out a small moan.

“You know how I said in our chats that i was notoriously good at giving head?” Ian asks, panting as he breaks away from their kiss. 

“Y-Yeah,” Damien says, breathless.

“You wanna find out?” 

Damien nods feverishly, and Ian is quick to bend down to his knees and begin undoing Damien’s jeans. He has done this dozens of times before, mostly for guys that he didn’t even know. 

There is a wet spot on the outside of Damien’s tented boxers. Ian hooks his fingers on the band of Damien’s boxers and he looks up at Damien.

“oh god, please, Ian-“ 

Ian blushes, and slides Damien’s boxers down. He is fully erect, and his cock is slick with precum. Ian begins to work his wrist down the shaft until he gets to the bottom. Ian takes all of Damien’s length into his mouth, and swirls his tongue around the head, something that used to make Anthony go crazy. 

Damien lets out a soft moan, almost whimper above him. Damien threads his fingers through Ian’s cropped hair, and grips tightly.

“Oh god, Ian…stop, I wanna fuck you.” 

Ian looks up at Damien, and smiles. “Oh, so I’m the one who’s getting fucked?” 

“You said you’d done it before,” Damien breathes out as Ian gets to his feet. 

Ian moves over to his desk, where he starts searching his drawers for condoms. He’d nabbed some when they’d done that acrylic nail video, but he doesn’t remember exactly where he’d put them. Damien goes into his backpack and finds one in a hidden pocket. Ian does, however, find a bottle of lube from an EBE video they’d done awhile back. 

Damien is quick to get his pants and underwear off of his ankles, and he puts his hands under Ian’s shirt. Ian lifts his hands over his head while Damien pulls off his shirt. Ian then strips his pants off.

“Do you want me to prep you?” Damien whispers as he peppers kisses all over Ian’s neck. 

Ian nods, and watches as Damien squirts lube out onto one of his fingers. 

“I thought you said you’d never done this bef- ahh!” Ian says, as Damien’s finger enters. 

“Well, I’ve never been on bottom before.” 

“W-What guys have you been with before?” Ian shivers as Damien inserts a second finger. 

Damien laughs. “Well, Shayne and I were roommates…” 

“Oh my god! I had no clue Shayne was like th- hh!” Ian threw his head back as Damien’s fingers worked against him. “Damien, just fuck me already, jesus christ.” 

Ian adjusts himself so that he’s sitting on his desk and his legs hang in the air. Damien’s face goes pink as he works a condom on and then begins to push inside. Ian gasps a little.

“Am I hurting you?” 

“It’s just been a-a while,” Ian groans. “The last person to fuck me, was uh…” 

Damien thrusts harder, and Ian lets out a low moan. “You like that?” 

Ian groans, “god, faster, Damien. please.” 

Damien starts to pick up a rhythm, and Ian begins to fall apart. Ian begins to pump himself, and Damien lifts Ian’s left leg. He can begin to feel that warm feeling in his stomach. 

“Fuck me, Damien,” Ian cries out. “Faster!” 

“Ian,” he pants, “oh god, i’m gonna-“ 

Damien starts to see stars, but he keeps up his pace and Ian is quick to follow him. Damien feels a sticky, hot splatter across his chest. 

“S-Sorry, aahh,” Ian rests his head on Damien’s shoulder.

They both take a moment to let the room stop spinning. Damien pulls out and begins to clean himself up.

“Please don’t put that in my office trashcan,” Ian groans as he watches Damien remove his condom. Damien laughs. 

Ian watches as Damien moves to the office supply cabinet, where he gets out wet wipes and paper towels. Ian grabs a towel and begins to clean himself up, and then cleans up underneath where they were on his desk. Oh god, he just had sex on his desk. 

After Damien has cleaned up, he puts his clothes back on. and then waits for Ian. After Ian has dressed himself, he begins to turn off the appliances and lights in his office. Damien hangs behind him. 

Ian stops at his office door, “Damien, not a word to anyone.” 

“Agreed. Not even Shayne?” Damien mumbles. 

“Not even Shayne,” Ian laughs. 

As they make their way to the front of the now empty mythical building, Damien turns to plant on last kiss on Ian’s lips. Once they get to the parking lot, they begin to go their separate ways. 

“Oh, and Ian?” Damien says across the parking lot, stopping at his car.

Ian turns to face him. 

“See you at work tomorrow.”


End file.
